Know how to avoid the habit of comparing one’s Life to another.
Know how to avoid the habit of comparing one's life to another.
When have we understood life most simply?
When I see my colleague moving ahead of me academically my mind starts playing games, I think "Am I doing enough? Am I enough?", and continue to doubt myself.
When one sees a brand-new car in the neighbor's parking space what goes through you, "Hey I am qualified the same way as he is yet how come he is climbing the ladder so fast? What am I not doing correctly? Why am I so casual about myself?
Its Basic Human Nature of Comparing one's Life with another especially now that we live in a highly competitive and materialistic world.
Comparing one's self to another is absolutely Normal till the time one is not overtly affected by it, but it lands on the opposite side of the spectrum when one is compelled to obsessively think and fret over it for hours and sometimes for days together.
The Question then arises as to what is the root cause of such thoughts and how can we Avoid such a thinking pattern?
Usually, these thoughts are born out of some deep sense of Unfulfillment, or unfulfilled desires where one either doubts oneself or feels incomplete.
It might also be a result of some deep envy; one is harboring against someone else, could be a family member or a friend.
Now, where does this sense of unfulfillment or dissatisfaction be born, and where and when did it start?
For understanding this one needs to dive deep down into a person's up-bringing, his or her attachment with the caretaker and/or parent, and their childhood overall.
For instance, what kind of relation the person share with their family and siblings will determine how their outlook will be towards themselves and their life.
People who were not made to feel secure in their childhood may come with a lot of self-doubts and self-depreciative thinking. They may not have been appreciated enough or their achievements might have not been encouraged, or for all we know, might have been humored, by their family and closed ones?
Such people may also become negative thinkers and may not have close bonds with others and at the same time may be very anxious and clingy as well.
One needs to understand these underlying bases of insecure attachment that people had with their family, in their lives which makes them continuously compare themselves with others.
On the other hand, if the person shared a securely bonded relation with their parents or care-giver they may become more trusting, have a more positive view of themselves, have emotional intimacy and become a dependable person.
This might have incorporated a higher sense of self-value, self-recognition, and empathetic attitude in their lives, for the things around them and thus appreciation for the little things in their life.
So, at the end of the day when you say, "I want to live a better life", the real question comes, from where does this "Better" come from?
This "Better" comes from WITHIN.
The moment you decide and draw the Line of Satisfaction, and a sense of awareness that whatever you have in your life is sufficient, when you have decided that this is enough and you don't need to be greedy.
For instance, when you decide about overspending on something, you need to ask yourself that if you need to do it or what impact that might have on your family?
This kind of awareness and sense of self-acceptance that the person will have will help the person to lead a "BETTER" Life.
And when you have developed that sense of SELF-acceptance, you will be successful in not comparing your life to anybody else's.