What is emotional intimacy?

What is emotional intimacy?

What is emotional Intimacy?


It is a sense of closeness developed over a period of time in any relationship, longer the duration higher is the emotional intimacy. It makes the two people involved feel very safe and secure which helps them derive authentic joy and happiness from that relationship. It will be incorrect to identify emotional intimacy on the grounds of sexual closeness with the other individual. It can be an intimacy that develops between any two people who have a close association and can easily be mistaken with Empathy.  

Emotional intimacy can blossom in workplace relationships, familial relationships, or between two best friends of the same or opposite gender or even between spouses, the keyword being blossom. Just like a flowering plant or fruit tree this relationship needs to be nourished with joy and a balance of respect and space. Having emotional Intimacy with a person is absolutely critical, as it goes a very very long way to explain whether your relationship is going to flourish, whether it's going to be stable or going to be unstable and breakaway, and make you a dysfunctional person.

Emotional Intimacy is something which two people have to closely and concretely work upon, it is not some ingredient that you can just as easily add to the broth of a relationship, but it is that special magical spice that will make you make you do more for the relationship. In turn, the bonding has to be created in such a way, where you develop a truly trusting, compassionate, long-term relationship with your partner.

And one needs to devote time, honest effort, and completeness to the relationship for it to mature so that the two people and the relationship overall is nurtured and matures with time. As the analogy, when you keep the wine in a cellar for several years, it only gets better, and as for cheese, keeping it for years makes it only better, same is the case with relationships. Give it that beautiful and essential element of time and there you have a long-lasting relation that one can rejoice forever.

What more is that a high level of emotional Intimacy, may find that the people involved have a sense of strength from within, a sense of balance, a higher level of acceptance for newer ideas and plans, a zest to take risks more, better achievements, and offer themselves with superior and achievable milestones. This is only possible when you know that the other – could be the spouse, your partner, your boss, your mentor will always hold you due to a high sense of dependability upon each other, that no matter what, at the end of the day, they have each other to fall back on. One will only find that this further binds the two people involved, again whether it's a working relationship or any familial relationship as well. The true foundation of a relationship always boils down to how you build your emotional Intimacy, honest and authentic bond with the other person.

Some of how you can create and maintain Emotional Intimacy are:

  1. Be grateful and have complete appreciation – for what you have in the relationship and for the people involved.
  2. Have openness in communication and keep nurturing that space.
  3. Make a list of things that you may enjoy doing together and discussing about.
  4. Try not to be rigid and accommodate the other person's point of view as well.
  5. While the whole relationship needs to be taken to different levels avoid being the overwhelming partner who always likes to take the driver’s seat.


Nurture the space in between and embrace the person with all that he/she has to offer to you.

Author: Dr Sonali Sikdar

Post date: 21st Mar, 2021


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